Terms of Service
"The legal stuff, but readable."
1. The Handshake
By browsing this site or hiring David the Gnomad, you agree to these terms. If you don't agree, you must immediately close this tab and think about what you've done.
2. Fueling the Machine
Design requires caffeine and complex mathematics.
Projects are billed as agreed. Late payments may result in the designer looking slightly more tired than usual in Zoom calls, or in extreme cases, the temporary replacement of your website with a picture of a very judgmental llama.
3. Magic & Revisions
We aim for perfection. However, "make it pop" is not a technical requirement. Each package includes a set number of revision rounds. Any requests to "make the logo 2% more blue while keeping it exactly the same color" may incur additional fees for psychological damages.
4. Intellectual Property
Once the final invoice is paid, the code and designs are yours. Until then, they belong to David the Gnomad. We reserve the right to show off the finished work in our portfolio to make other people jealous of your awesome new brand.
5. The Ghosting Clause
If you disappear for more than 30 days without explanation, the project will be archived. To resurrect it, you may need to perform a small ritual involving a "restart fee" and a very sincere apology email.